Why I’m Not Celebrating My Birthday Tomorrow
….at least not in the traditional sense.
Over the years I have had some fairly incredible birthday celebrations; whether that be elaborate parties with all of my friends, week-long celebrations or even flying to other countries. The Leo in me (yes I like astrology) loved that. In fact the Leo in me relished that.
Tomorrow I turn 29.
I will wake up in my own bed at home and have somewhat of a quiet day, taking the time to be myself. After a morning gym session, the hubby and I are headed to one of my fave spots for lunch followed by a raw treat detour, some wandering/meandering around that neighbourhood and a quiet family dinner.
Fairly different from this…
Amalfi, New York City & Paris: 26th, 27th & 28th birthdays.
The thing is though that different is not worse, although it is often seen that way. What struck me leading up to this birthday was how different I felt. How content I felt and these feelings of contentment didn’t spill over into wanting to celebrate the day I was born in any big way. They have however made me ever more acutely aware of being in the moment, in each moment.
Celebrating our wedding just 3 weeks ago most certainly brought that clarity further to light for me. Tippy and I talked about how important it was for us to soak up each and every moment. In fact from being engaged all the way to our honeymoon, we were constantly stopping to simply watch. Watch how amazing everything was. How lucky we are. We wanted to witness our lives not simply race through them and I can tell you that the experience was beyond our wildest dreams (though more on the wedding in an upcoming post…..)
This is the first approaching birthday that I have felt so different. Watching Sex & The City re-runs hold all new meaning being in the same age bracket, getting the big chop and seeking the shortest hair that I have had in 20 years (freaking out slightly on that one!), going to bed early and l-o-v-i-n-g it and best of all realising that you have ultimate control of your destiny. There seem to be more lines on my face than ever before and my body is certainly not what it was 10 years ago though neither am I. Although we can’t totally leave behind (nor should we attempt to) parts of ourselves, it is quite a surreal feeling to actually feel different than you always have. When feeling youthful and like a big kid is the norm, this is a huge shift though at the same time I kind of wondered when it might happen…
However why should different be perceived as negative?
Being young and carefree is wonderful and I hope it’s a gift that I carry with me in spirit for some time to come. The obvious differences from then to now however are the relationships in my life. Those with my family, with my friends, with colleagues and vitally, with myself.
I am filled with more joy and gratitude for what I am capable of; body and mind; than any year before. Less and less of my life is lived for other people, by societal standards and opinions. When I wake up each day I have purpose and love in my heart and I genuinely want to serve, you.
Not a saint, not perfect, not achieving all of my goals or living my bliss 100% of the time BUT I am getting a hell of a lot closer and just like the lesson from our wedding experience, enjoying the ride.
Even if your birthday isn’t for another 11 months, check in with yourself and see where you are at on your journey. Do your best to send gratitude to your younger self for all the decisions she made and laugh along with her at the less-than-awesome-ones too. Watch yourself right now as you read this and send a little ray of sunshine to the universe for all that you are but most of all know that you have ultimate and final control of who you are and what you do each and everyday. You are capable of all that you dream of, I know it.
Happy Birthday to me then and thank you for bringing so much love and light into my world; it is the greatest gift of all. Big love to you beautiful.
xxx Nadia xxx
main image credit : Pana Chocolate